There are some things we just cannot tell, some things that we don’t want others to know. We as individuals are all entitled to secrets, secrets so personal that we dare not tell anyone for fear of it being used against us later in life, or that someone could take it the wrong way. But bottling it up inside can sometimes be the worst thing, sometimes we need that outlet.
In the world we live in today, we no longer have to keep a diary under the bed with a lock on it. Blogs and online diaries always allow us to express our secrets, maybe some will stumble upon it, maybe some will never find it. But it will be there in the public domain to sometimes aid, guide or just be an eternal stamp of a certain period of time in our lives.
I will be honest, this is not my only blog. I have another “secret” blog that I have been writing since 1999, maybe some I know have found it, maybe they never will but I often find it somewhat therapeutic to read from time to time. Over the past decade I know and can see just how life has changed.
The hopes, the dreams and the fears of life itself all change as we get older, but do we ever change as individuals or is it just our thoughts that fragment into a universe that changes around us? Certainly I don’t feel much different to ten years ago, some things I am still doing, others have left my life but secrets will always remain.
One day I may show the woman I love my ten year diary, maybe it will explain how I am, the hurt I overcome, the pain that I had to endure and fight in life to just survive. Maybe I will show her the inner most thoughts in my life and ask her to heal the wounds that others carved in my soul, maybe just maybe she will be the glue to mend my shattered heart.
Or quite possibly it will forever remain.
My secret.
