Return to whence I came

What was it that you said to me? Oh yes

“Leave my life and never call me again”

I remember that day; it was a cold harsh autumn evening. As I opened the window, the glare of the morning sun pierced through my eyes. Not sure what hurt the most that day, the thumping pain in my mind that played a cruel and callous symphony or the emptiness I felt when reading your message.

I doubt you even remember sending it, sat up high on your sugar pedestal in your kingdom of hype. Moved on quicker than I can say; yet for me the winter of my discontent began a month early. Every place I went there was a constant reminder of you.  The places we would frequent now just mere shells that once contained a happy memory. Even in the sanctum of solitude you still break through my barrier.

Emotions can be painful as well as kind, and you certainly had mine in a barrel as you pushed me over the cliff edge. Looking down briefly as I smashed my life against the jagged rocks below, before finally being thrown into a sea of oblivion. A chasm so dark that even the illumination from the sun could not penetrate through.

Drifting.

Time heals all wounds they say. There I stood, lifeless, hungry and ravaged by the decaying stench of my failure. Time gave me room to think, chance to evaluate my actions to see what warranted such a swift and harsh end. I knew one thing that was your choice not mine.

As I stumbled towards the light, I finally sensed that the future might not be as miserable as I feared. A silhouette on the horizon became bigger as I approached. The faint outline becoming clearer.

Reality.

An illusion? No. It was as clear as day. There you were.

Why?

I thought that the pain you inflicted on me was the cruelest of all. But now you want one last meeting. For your own closure, a reprieve to say things you did not have the time to say. Well I can be clear on one thing.

The meeting may bring you closure. But my fierce wounds will once again be opened.