As usual on a Monday morning I found myself on a Eurostar train bound for Paris. Following spending the majority of Sunday afternoon in the pub I can say that my head was not as fresh as it usually is. Fortunately on this journey I was not placed behind a loud businessman or anyone who had a repetitive drum and bass tune that would effortlessly eat away at the sub-consciousness. For on this trip I was behind a woman and two rather well behaved children.
About a quarter of the way to Paris the little girl who must have been around seven or eight years old turned to her mother and said “Mummy what is it like to be a Mummy?” strange question to ask at such a young age but id did get me thinking. For a reason that I cannot explain I immediately began looking through my Facebook profiles. The reason for this is that a fair few number of my female friends on Facebook have children. Some have just became mothers, some are in the process of raising their children and unfortunately in some cases some have lost their children. It also got me thinking of my friend Jessika who tragically along with her baby daughter died during childbirth only two months ago.
There were many photographs to view from all over the world. Some very interesting some not so yet it got me to ask the very same question as the little girl on the train “What does it feel like to be a mother?” now that is a question that I cannot answer but I can provide my own definition on what a mother means for me. What exactly a mother is in the eyes of a man who has a mother he hardly sees. My definition is this.
A mother is not just a stage in a woman’s life when she has a child for the very first time, nor is it just a definition to describe the process of brining life into this world. Being a mother is simply the most powerful position that exists on this Earth. Producing a child takes two; I think anybody that has transcended adolescence would acknowledge that fact. Yet whilst the male’s role in this process of evolutions seems fairly straight forward what the mother has to endure can only really be described as remarkable.
Carrying a child for nine months creates more than just a physical bond; it creates the most powerful force on this planet. A parental bond. The spiritual and physical connection between mother and child is simply too difficult to define and describe. A connection is created that will bond two living forces together in a way that cannot be broken, either physically or emotionally. When the baby is born the only thing that matters in the eyes of the mother is the health and nature of her child, the world that existed is now only in the tiny hands and heart of the gift of nature that they have just brought into this world.
Through the child’s infantile years the mother will be the provider, the carer, protector and teacher. The entire progression and development of the child’s early years will be in the hands of the mother. As the child grows older into a young adult its needs will change and vary yet the role of the mother is always there, never leaving, forever caring and always protecting. There will at times in the child’s adolescence when it will feel that it no longer needs the protection of the mother and can see this as being a burden at times, yet the mother knows this and will give the child space in order to fulfil it’s transition into adult.
Yet even when the child is fully grown their will be times, many times, when it will turn to its mother in order to overcome a problem. Why? Because it is the child’s primary instinct to turn to the very person that provided, cared and loved them for all of their lives.
As I sit and now listen to several businessmen argue about salaries and how much their raise at work will this year I look at the mother whose daughter who asked this question is asleep in her arms and I realise one thing. Being a full-time mother is without question the highest paid job in the world. Because the payment that is given, not just each month, but each day is a payment of pure love and it’s not an annual increase but daily.
I would go so far to try and dare answer the eternal question. “What is the meaning of life”, to be the meaning is simply on word.
Mother.